The post I am about to post is actually an old post that I wrote a year ago on my unpublished blog I had started about homeschooling. There was only one post and I didn’t even know if I wanted to keep writing because I was so determined not to be “one of those moms who write about homeschooling.” All the blogs I’ve read on homeschooling were full of good advice and amazing projects and resources and people who loved this life at home. I was overwhelmed and felt like a failure and I didn’t know if I even wanted to be known as a homeschooling mom, because honestly I wasn’t even sure if I could keep doing it.

I am so grateful to God for not giving up on me. For working in me and changing me every day a little more for His Glory. So here is what I wrote a year ago on the subject.

“Today was just terrible.

Not the first words you really want to read upon finding a new homeschooling blog, but it’s true. I’ve wanted to start this blog for almost two years now, such a long time ago; and out of all the good days I could have started, today turns about to be the day I did.

I don’t really know what tripped us up today, but it was just bad. Wednesdays are always bad. Kids were yelling, crying and arguing. Every time I tried to get them to sit down something else would set them off. Once one was calm the other three were crying. Well, that’s a little bit of an exaggeration. Almost. And of course, momma had her fair share of crabby moments and exasperated outbursts as well.

So, I guess I write this because this is real life right now. Most homeschooling blogs I read (and believe me, I never thought I’d be writing a blog on homeschooling) are packed full of free resources and book lists and long blog posts of all the stuff they accomplished in one day with 11 children and chickens, and latin declensions. I’m sorry I don’t have anything that accomplished to share with you. But what I do have is real.

Maybe I won’t be able to help you sort out your morning schedule, or reassure you on what curriculum to pick, but I have real stories of what homeschooling has been like for us, both the good and the bad. I’m going to be super honest with you right upfront and admit that homeschooling has been a real struggle for me. I daily feel like I am failing. I can barely recall a few days where I have gone to bed feeling accomplished and encouraged that school is awesome and I have done a good job teaching these little ones.

The only hope I have for this blog is that perhaps my stories of frustration and perseverance, of thankfulness and hope can somehow reach you on your bad days and bring you encouragement as well, because I know I would be encouraged to know that I’m not the only one who struggles.

I almost gave up this fall. I was ready to send them all to public school, and my sweet husband in his calm wisdom reminded me that I actually wanted to do this. This crazy life of a husband who works from home and a stay at home mom who homeschools their 4 kids was actually my dream and some days it’s a little harder to see, but I am so blessed. So at the end of a terrible day, when I just wanted to hide in the laundry room and cry, I’m giving it up to God and saying “Thank you for the life you’ve given me, I give this day to you, please redeem it for Your glory.”